cool gray air everywhere, spilling in through the windows
the wind and the rain and the falling flowers
salt lake is lovely in the spring time.
familiarity permeates every breath of this place,
memories dripping down like rain from the tree branches
i feel like a grand intruder, disrupting the world that went on perfectly despite my absence. it stares at me blankly, coldly, questioning my sudden presence.
i had imagined that coming home would be like leaping through time,
everything quietly waiting for my return, unchanged and perfect
but my microcosm didn't hold still, it kept living, and suddenly it isn't even mine anymore.
strange, not belonging to anything or anyone.
at church i slipped through unnoticed and invisible,
as if i had neither left nor come back
with my friends i feel so out of place,
my humor, my laugh, my dreams clashing vibrantly with their world
even my room seems to reject me, scorning my invasion of clothes and books and music
but somehow i don't mind
i might not belong here anymore, but i do belong to myself. i can take the small bits and pieces of all my worlds and paste them together and become more than just the one, but the combination.
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